more on workplace terminology*

Just posting something so that my partner's isolated episode of cursing isn't at the top of my blog. I've been learning lots of new terms at work, ones that are evidently par for the course in some worlds. So let this be a learning experience for us all:

Webinar: A seminar over the Internet. No, "sem" is not a location, so just replacing it with "web" does not make perfect sense. Yet, webinars are terribly common events. I'm sitting in one tomorrow.

Boil the Ocean. Apparently a consulting term, a negative phrase implying unguided research. Why boil the ocean when all you want is a cup of hot water? I made that last part up. Anyway, read this for another good definition by a blog titled non other than "boil the ocean."

Methodology. Ok, now we're just getting into pet peeves. Reminder to everyone: A method is how you do something, a process. Methodology is the study of, or the principle of methods. Wikipedia agrees: "Methodology is frequently used when method would be more accurate."

Review of old terms: Outlook Me! Harvey Balls

*And, now that I look at my post, I think I'm misusing the term terminology! I'm merely defining critiquing terms here, not engaging in a study of their use.

My New Best Friend, the Harvey Ball

So in my new position at The Place Which Shall Not Be Named*, my job is often to present a lot of material in a very little amount of time. In order to accomplish this end, I am quickly learning the wonders of The Matrix.

Not the Meatrix, and not the movie either, but rather an 8x8 chart (or 7x5, or 6x9, or what have you) that usually compares a set of criteria to multiple entities. Here's an example, from a quick image search.

Using symbols instead of words. The most challenging part of using a matrix is that I'm confined to boxes. Not only that, but I'm finding that people like to see pictures instead of words, a further confinement. Sure, I can (and have) developed matrices of text. This works in narrative-style reporting, or in cases when one-to-three words will suffice. It doesn't work so well with the at-a-glance snapshot, however. My solution? A series of checks and check-pluses, stars, frowney-faces** and smiley-faces.

And then I discovered Harvey Balls. Developed by a consultant, Harvey Balls are quick reference indicators of scale. A filled in circle exceeds criteria; an empty circle is akin to a frowney-face. Mostly, I just like saying "Harvey Balls" to people and seeing their reaction, especially in a meeting. There must be a better name for these!

Why "Harvey Balls?" Why not "Criteria Circles" or something resembling the function of the things? Turns out that Harvey Balls were developed by a consultant named Harvey Poppel. Harvey Poppel did not like using check marks on matrices. He had to come up with something that displayed a range for criteria. And then he named that thing after himself.

Harvey Ball did not invent Harvey Balls. Most importantly, when referencing the inventor of the Harvey Balls, remember that it was Harvey Poppel, not Harvey Ball. Harvey Ball is another person entirely. Harvey Ball invented the smiley face.

Let's recap: If you, like me, use a smiley face for matrix criteria, then it's from Harvey Ball. If you use Harvey Balls, then think of Harvey Poppel.

This makes me wonder, were Schweaty Balls invented by Harvey Schweaty? Well, they should have been.

*Thanks to Ralph for the title. It's not that I care if you know where I work; it's that I'd rather it not come up in a search engine. Here's a hint.
**I cannot express enough the strength of response to a frowney face.

My near not-quite almost siting of Barack Obama

Prologue. Every working morning I transfer on the El from the Red to Green Line at State and Lake. This involves walking up out of the subway* from the Red, crossing the street, walking up to the elevated platform for the Green. I then wait (and wait) through several Brown Line trains when finally a Green arrives, taking me two more stops West of the Loop to my building.

The Siting. Today while waiting (and waiting) for the Green, I noticed a light skinned man standing on the platform. He stuck out, appearing more business-like than even the other business folk who take the train. Don't ask me how, but he drew some sort of attention to himself even though no one was talking to him.

I thought in the back of my head, That guy's kind of hot -- he's like, Barack Obama hot.

From where we were both waiting, we got on the same El car (third from the front) and walked inside. I sat down, he remained standing. As we neared the first of two stops, a lady across from me got up and said, "I've been trying to contact you." "Oh really?" "Yes, my company [something something]" He says, "Leave a message at my office and I'll have someone contact you."

The lady got off the train, and the man walked over to a transit authority employee and asked how he was doing. Soon the CTA guy was dumping about our tragic situation and the man assured the employee that he was working on this issue, doing everything he could.

Finally I thought that this guy *was* Barack Obama, since during two El stops he politicked with two people. Yet, no entourage, no autographs, and seemingly few people recognizing him. He got off at my stop and we both joined the single file line of people down the El stop stairs. I tracked him once we reached the street and he entered the CTA headquarters building, just across the street from my building.

Telling the coworkers. Well of course I told the first three people I saw this morning that I thought that just saw Barack Obama. They wondered if it was him, since no security was tracking him, but I said maybe he was going with a low profile this morning. They wondered why few people seemed to recognize him and I compared it to the Weather Underground, you know where people go unrecognized under your nose simply because you're not looking for them. Then they told me I should gotten an autograph or taken a picture with the guy. I was kicking myself over not even saying one word while walking right next to him.

The Realization. The first words my supervisor says when I told her were, "Are you sure you it wasn't [CTA Pres] Ron Huberman?" To make a long story short** Barack Obama is in New York today. He ate breakfast with Mayor Bloomberg. Then who did I see? Someone was politicking, and admirably so, and I'd like to figure out who it was. So for the sake of argument, let's first inspect the differences between Obama and Huberman. No comparison in my opinion - I don't think I saw either one.

So, in the end of it all I guess I just saw some random hot guy on the train and decided to blog about it. I still think he looked very much like Barack and very little like Huberman. What are the odds a politician has a public breakfast in New York and then sneaks over to Chicago and uses the train?

Incidentally, if Obama really did solve our CTA crisis, I'd totally change my vote in the primaries.

*Ever notice that New York's transit system is called the subway even above ground while Chicago's is called the Elevated even below it? And that's your fun fact of the day.
**Too late!

Feeling stressed at work? Talk to your cube mates!

In a study from Rochester Medical School, people with friendships at work suffer less - if at all - from job related stress. Translation? Make cubicle friends! Looks like all this time I've been actually raising my productivity levels. This from a Times health blog called Well:

The findings are especially important to employers and managers who sometimes view fraternizing by colleagues as a distraction that interferes with productivity. But Dr. Robertson Blackmore notes that because work friendships lower job stress and risk for major depression, employees who get along and support each other are likely to be more productive. Depression at work reduces employee productivity, increases disability and absences and may lead to premature retirement, the journal report notes.

That's right, let no cubicle go unsocialized! For the record, I live in an extremely healthy office. But now I wonder what multitasking does for stress and productivity.

Halloween leftovers - which will go first? (or: the big Sweets Bid of 2007)

So my supervisor just walked in and set her leftover Halloween candy in two baskets, on top of the file cabinet by the set of cubicles that include the interns and me. I have a bet - nay an agreement* - with my cubicle mate as to the order that the candy will disappear. We think the whoppers will go first, but only because there are less of them. Here are the candies, in no particular order:

• Skittles
• Starburst
• Whoppers
• Almond Joy
• Peanut Butter Cups
• Heath Bar (one)

Without consideration of individual tastes (ex. our other cubical mate loves Skittles and Starbursts, and she's closest to the basket), which do you think will disappear first? I guarantee they all go today, so expect updates. Looks to us like there are equal amounts of all candies, save for the aforementioned Whoppers.

*because we have the same ordering - not much of a bet, eh?

UPDATE: Ok, so there is one lone Heath bar too. I didn't include this at first because I assumed it would go fast, but now I'm including it on the list, just added to bottom.

UPDATE2: Due to cubicle in-fighting, we took the now-gone Heath bar off the list. There are now three cubical mates and one moderator, all with different lists. Participants are not allowed to take any more candy, although the moderator may help herself. The winner receives a tall coffee from Starbucks, funded by the other two participants.

UPDATE3: Right, so I left work without the update. But really, we were in suspense up to the last minute, with one Whopper, two Skittles, two Almond Joys, and a whole mess of Starbursts at 4:15. I invited a passerby to take a piece of candy, and he took the lone Whopper! Unfortunately I've yet to hear about the rest, but Meghan - all three of us ordered the Almond Joy last. Looking at the Skittles, though, Katie's and Dan's reasoning are ringing true. Probably the Starburst will be last.

My order as of 8:30 this morning: Heath (disqualified), P.B. Cups, Whoppers, Skittles, Starburst, Almond Joy.
One cube mate: P.B. Cups, Heath (disqualified), Whoppers, Starburst, Skittles, Almond Joy.
Two cube mate: Heath (disqualified), P.B. Cups, not-Whoppers, something else, Almond Joy.

I have a feeling that Katie might take this, though Dan gets the best-theory award (that's sort of like best-dressed). Among the cube mates though, I'm looking like 100 Grand!*

*source (The Office)

UPDATE4 (final): The candy is gone! When I came in to work today there were two packages of Starbursts left, both of which were opened and picked through. I guess someone likes the yellow and not the pink. by 10am the pink ones were gone too. Here's the final order:

P.B. Cup, Whoppers, Almond Joy, Skittles, Starburst (Yellow), Starburst (Pink).

Katie and Dan actually tied, because both contestants flip-flopped two candies that were next to each other in order (Katie=Skittles/Starburst; Dan=Almond Joy/Whoppers). I guess malt wins over coconut. And that, my friends, is the great Sweets Bid of 2007. One cube mate wants to play again with different candy next week but I'm not quite ready to part with my Mike & Ikes at home.

warning: it might be an hour later than you think

So I came into work this morning to find my computer and phone reading 7:30am. Funny, I thought it was 8:30. Two and a half hours later, I forgot about the time disparity and am operating as if it's now 10am, when in fact it's 11.

Why the discrepency? I guess our technology didn't get the memo when we passed a law shifting around the dates for time changes. While it's nice to have three extra weeks of sunlight on the way to work (two in the spring and one in the fall), it might be even nicer to stick with the rest of world on a common time.

In the meantime, I think my Outlook calendar is in kahoots with my PC and Phone, so probably I'll be late for two meetings today.

UPDATE: Hmmm. Blogger says it's 10am too. I just asked my cube mates what time it was, and they agreed with the 10am thing (and looked at me like i'm crazy). I guess our IT folks already won the clock battle, somewhere between when I got into work and now. So nevermind, it's probaby the time that you think that it is after all.

You Outlookin' at me?

I learned a new verb for an old word this month. "Outlook," as in Microsoft Outlook. Usually this comes at the end of an informal discussion between two people who agree to meet formally in the near future. Rather than waste time standing around with details, as in "No, this day is bad. How about then?" you just say, "I'll Outlook you."

So far I've been Outlooked seven times and I've Outlooked someone else twice.

Research on the term. Apparantly this is known lingo, not something unique to my office. PcWorld noticed the phenomenon about a year ago, but who's leading the way on the term? You'd think that of all people, Microsoft employees Outlook their colleaques constantly. Not so. Instead, they "S+" you.

Most noteworthy of all, such lingo is not compatible with Mac using offices. Are there even such things?

Office Refrigerator Norms

Nearly every place of employment deals with the ultimate office conundrum: Refrigerator Norms. Refrigerator Norms are sure to draw battle lines in the field, aligning certain coworkers against others, all on the basis of sharing food storage space. Refrigerator problems could mean food disappearance, and the accompanying blame and accusations. It nearly always means food avoidance and decay. For example, Who left the Tupperware of molding refried beans and why does nobody clean this up?

Our office has the ultimate solution: Project Total Disposal. That was the subject heading of the following e-mail:

Remember ~ Friday, September 28th beginning at 1 p.m.

Total disposal of all items in all refrigerators or freezers!

Project Total Disposal was described to me in full at my staff orientation. On the last Friday of every month, all refrigerators will be completely cleaned out. Every item. There will be no checking names, labels, dates, or mold activity. All of it will be cleared out. If you care about your particular food item, then don't have it in there on this day.

They say they've tried everything else, and this so far is the best solution. Me, I keep a mini-cooler lunch bag under my desk. It's big enough for a sandwich and a couple of snacks throughout the day. It stays cold, and if it molds, then it does so in the comfort of my backpack.

And now I've said too much.

everyday office life v2.0 (Orientation)

#131 out of 365 photos this year

I had the greatest Office orientation this week. I thought orientations consist mostly of things like photocopying your driver's license, having you sign forms and so on. Well I did sign my share of papers, but most of the orientation consisted of what I'll call Office Manners. Not only that, but they are environmentally friendly - both for the Earth's environment as well as the Office environment. Since I think they're worth using in other offices, here's a short list of things that - as an Office employee - I am responsible:

• If you pass the coffee pot filled very low with dregs of coffee, please turn off the hotplate.
• Due to the high cost of energy, turn your computer completely off when you leave for the day.
• For those with windows (not me), close your blinds as much as possible so that birds do not fly into the window.
• Every desk has a box for recycling paper. Use it.
  
• When you have used batteries, not necessarily here but maybe at home, bring them in. The H.R. staff recycles them at her home.
• Place cans and plastics in the blue bag in the break room. These also go home with our H.R. staff.
  
• When getting water from the cooler, leave your cup under the faucet until the water completely finishes running. The water cooler tray is not a drain.
• When you carry coffee in your mug from the pot to your desk, don't fill it all the way. This prevents sloshing of coffee from your mug to the carpet.

I also learned all about the emergency exits, the location of the stairwells, and the hours of key card use (and what to do outside of those hours). All in all, an impressive orientation making me feel ready to... well, to drink coffee and recycle lots of paper.

more office life: Introduction

everyday office life: volume one (Intro)

OK I can't help it. 21 hours of the week I work as a research fellow in what I will call Office*. At first I wasn't going to blog about my experience with Office but it's a part of my daily life, and things like this picture of my Handsfree Mute button aren't really going to jeopardize much.

As an introduction to the series, you should check out my desktop wallpaper, which I already changed to this in the second week. Lots of staff in the intros ask for pictures when I mention Edie so it's important to have these ready.

Next step: set the voice mail

Oh how I dread setting up voice mail. I didn't do it the first day because it's just weird doing multiple takes into a handset with other people near you, especially if you don't know them. But on Friday fewer people were in my cubicle area so I gave it a go. Here's my message:

Hello, you've reached Marc Rittle. I'm either on the phone or away from my desk. Leave a message and I'll get back to you.

Snazy, eh? Different takes included using our department name, the full org title, my title, and then there's the retakes because I'm not really a fan of my own voice. Anyway. When I changed my message I took the picture above, in order to relay a tale from a previous office before coming to Chicago. This story is called "Handsfree Mute."

Handsfree Mute

My old boss (when I used to manage care for residents with developmental disabilities) overused the phrase "Handsfree Mute." I say "overused" because she said it a lot. I noticed, because I never thought this was a useful phrase. Nearly always, the sentence went something like, "Hey I'm calling you on Handsfree Mute!" or "Just wait, let me put you on Handsfree Mute!"

My supervisor usually meant that she was calling me on her speaker phone. In one case she called me from the car using her new ear piece, something she also called "Handsfree Mute." Not just Without Hands, mind you, but necessarily Mute.

Important to the story is that my supervisor was based in an office, while I worked in a residence. Our phones weren't as fancy as her's, so I never fully got the reference. Last week I saw it: the Handsfree Mute button. Thanks to Office, I too have the ability to put people on Handsfree Mute. Mostly I love how it's an action, something you do to someone else, evidently with profound excitement, so much so that I must announce it whenever I do it.

The Disappointment. After some research, mainly reading the phone manual, I discovered that these are two separate phone actions consolidated to one button. If I press the button with the handset in place, then I am using the speaker function (NOTE: Not Mute). If I press the button while holding the receiver in my hand (NOTE: Not Handsfree), then I put myself on mute, so the other person will not hear noise on my end. I'm not sure when this is a good idea, but there's the function.

Hopefully someday I'll find a way to Mute while Handsfree. Since these two unrelated phone tasks, I would think I could do both. But, for just a part timer like myself, the real challenge is to ever use either function at all. For now I'm sticking to my cell.

*Which by the way, I'm choosing to remain nameless. People at work who know me can always find my blog, but I'd rather that strangers not find me because of my work. I need a pseudonym, though. I was thinking something like IndsCo or CorporNation, after Rosabeth Kanter's and Arlie Hochschild's pen names in their respective studies. I could go with anagrams, like Awed Unity or the even stranger Aunty Wide. I could also just say "The Office," but I'm worried about challenges from a certain TV sensation. So I think I'll just be saying "Office."