If you're interested in the topic of the field exam I'm just finishing up, read this. My paper is so far titled For Love or For Money: somethingsomething. Its theme? The value of care. Is caring its own reward? Should we pay top dollar for care, and will that make it better? Should we test to be sure that our children are loved, in addition to receiving caring services? How much does that cost?
Case in point. In January, when I used to stay home with Edie part time, I needed a babysitter for about 12 hours a week. I placed ads for ten bucks an hour babysitting services, what I understood to be the going rate from a former student emphasizing in early childhood education. In practically no time at all, without even seeing the ad, a different former student said that she would love (note the word: love=good) to sit for Edie - and her schedule even fit our schedule.
I haven't written about this because this person reads my blog (and so does her Mom). But the sociological lesson I believe is a good one. Said student was visibly surprised at the ten dollar pay rate, so much that she agreed to do it for eight. I sort of felt bad reducing the initial promise for pay, a negotiation faux pas, where I should have started with less with a chance to increase later. But she was truly honestly fine with the $8, especially because she really wanted to help us out*.
Love as commoditity. What's interesting, and really what has always bothered me, about this is that we paid less to gaurantee better care. Paying the full $10 to someone answering our ad would have meant a stranger in our house taking care of our daughter. Maybe she would have been fantastic, maybe not.
Not to commodify care for a child, but in essence we replaced two dollars an hour with a gaurantee of love. Sociologists of care distinguish "caring for" versus "caring about." The first means that caring services are accomplished. The second means that someone genuinely has feelings for a person. For our money, we got both. We received $26 per week of love, and it was worth it.
We pay more now. I'm going overboard with the analogy, of course. But it's true that we deliberately paid less for better care. These days we take Edie to an in-home daycare four days a week, but we still pay Edie's favorite babysitter (thank you Ellen) on occasion. Sarah and I are working more and we can afford the full $10 per hour. But since our sitter is worth that extra $2 of love, really we are getting a $12 an hour value for her services, no?
All of this to make a point. When it comes to care, do you really get what you pay for? It would seem that the people you love are the ones better at the service, and paying your friends and family seems counter-intuitive. But what if you pay really a whole lot of money? Would private daycare be the best care Edie could get?
And the questions keep on coming. It's a good day to be a sociologist in the field of care.
* I should point out that when Edie was born she offered to watch her for free, so actually this is a signifcant increase in payment for the service.
Friday, May 02, 2008
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8 things that people say:
This was well worth the obsessive checking of your blog that I do on a daily basis. This a topic I have thought about obsessively for almost 5 years now (yes Aidan is almost 5). We have ONLY ever hired people who love our kids to watch them whether it be full time or on an as needed basis. But when that luck ran out a couple of years ago with full time care from my sisters, we had a nanny – which lasted only 3 months. My children were well cared for, but not loved. I had big emotional problems with it because I felt they needed (and deserved) love. In the end I pay top dollar for the love that my Mom provides for my children (and it's not weird at all paying her). Well worth every penny - and my Mom loves her job too – I am in a great situation for that.
Our “on call” babysitter is my 20 year old cousin in college – who also asks for no money, but we always pay her anyway - but I never know how much – and geeze at $10 and hour for one baby, I think my rate would be $20 per hour for my 3 crazy kids!
Just last week I was out playing with the kids, and a seeming teenaged girl was walking by, she stopped to tell me how cute my kids are and we got to talking about her (who is my neighbor of almost 4 years that I never met). Turns out she is in high school (19 years old), going to votech for day care (so she works at day care some days and takes English and Algebra the other days – yes, ONLY English and Algebra). We talked for a while, she interacted with my kids very well, and even ran home to get a piece of paper to write her phone number down for me to call her to babysit. So she was eager to become our babysitter. Now comes me getting over the hump of letting someone other than a family or friend watch my kids, and I tell you, I am having a tough time with it. But it would be great if she worked out, so I hope we can give it a shot!
Nice interruption in my oh so boring job.
I loved this post - and the comment from Jana.
Although, after reading it I decided to calculate how much I am paying myself to stay home with Isabela (since I no longer work). I must REALLY love her (and must be an amazing care taker - albeit a poor one)! =P
If our beautiful baby girls aren't worth all of the love, worry and care in the world, I don't know what is!
PS: I am sooo glad you got Edie back to a place she likes (even if it isn't quite as personal and loving as Ellen's care)
-Anita
Thanks for your kind remarks about Ellen. She really does love Edie.
Sure thing, Susan! We only wish they could hang out more. Rest assured though, Edie is loving her new home-day-care.
Jana and Anita, fantastic remarks, better than the actual post. Thanks.
As a child care director, I advocate private child care. The whole idea is that your child is well-cared for, and loved. The state of PA has made huge strides to ensure that the children in child care are loved. I could go on forever about the different programs. Keystone Stars is one of these programs.
When you look at the numbers as far as per hour care, I think you'll find that child care is less. Obviously rates are different, and especially in the different areas we live in. But, a full rate tuition for a child Edie's age at my center is $165. If you break that down to per hour it's a little over $4 per hour.
You've hit a topic close to me, can you tell? hahaha, I hope all is well. Brian and I are looking forward to finally meeting Edie in August!
Thanks Ashley (and Hi!) - that's sort of the thing. Childcare hits a nerve for a lot of people. The daycare we're in right now is slightly less than your center, although your daycare is much cheaper than our former nanny. All to say - word. Much agreed.
Marc,
Didn't Meghan babysit for you guys on a regular basis for free for, like, months?
Where does she fit into your equation on the sociology of babysitting, especially in regard to your "love as a commodity" question?
If she never asked for payment, is love a commodity there? Or does the fact that she was willing to help you out as a friend, for no payment, somehow make the child care she did different from Ellen's who was willing to work for less but was still your employee.
Personally, I'm interested in the fact that there seems to be a distinguishing between these two even though the quality of care is the same. Does Meghan's work become a favor and does that change its value?
Just some things I was thinking about.
Katie, great thoughts! I could argue that Ellen worked as part employ and part friend, but no matter how we look at it I probably owe Meghan a couple grand.
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