how a bottle of scotch can jumpstart my dissertation

Random Thing #42: in High School and college I was into theater. I'm even a member of Alpha Psi Omega, the national honorary theater society*. After school I didn't pursued theater. I don't have a single acting (or techie) class to my credit. I sort of closed the door on the whole thing after college, not intentionally but more by happenstance. The result: I haven't been on stage in a good twelve years.

Back on Stage. Correction, I haven't been on stage in 72 hours! My alma mater invited me back for a production of Enchanted April, a play about four women who escape their predictable British men for an Italian retreat. We rehearsed and performed the show in six days, from the Sunday script read-through to Opening Night on Friday. I can't speak to the quality of the production, but the play ran smooth, was reportedly entertaining, and most of all, We did it! I'm super impressed with this accomplishment and sort of want to do more.

"I've been translated!" is a popular line from the play. My wife in the show discovers a new world through her retreat, reforming her life's outlook and purpose. In a quirky parallel, I did the same.

This is where the dissertation part comes in. Remember that I'm a sociology student? With my full time non-profit position, caring for my daughter, and supporting Sarah through the end of law school and bar exam, I haven't spent much time inside of my studies since Thanksgiving. If you count the three months I took off last summer when Edie was born, I've lost nearly a year of study. This is discouraging. My friends are passing me up with their ABD status and dissertation research beginnings. I feel like I'm almost there, I don't feel bad about where I'm at, but all the same I am ready for a boost.

This week I feel rejuvenated. I'm tired, but that's something different than how I feel. For the last few months I've needed a fresh start of some kind. Some transition, or gate to pass through. A trip to Jamaica (not that I would do this) was not what I needed. Surprisingly, a sleepless week of project-focused rehearsal closing in full production was.

I accomplished my goal! I performed in a play as a hopefully convincing character. Maybe it took revisiting a college student schedule to figure out that I can also pass my pre-dissertation field exams. Maybe it took stepping away from my past routine and looking forward to a new one to be able to think about school again. As my director friend suggested, maybe it took using my right brain for once as opposed to crutching on my left. No matter what, the sense of accomplishment from this experience is invaluable.

This is where the scotch part comes in. My last show - 12 years ago in college - I played head school master dealing with issues of AIDS and sexuality at my school. The Old Boy was a deep play, and not without controversy in Central Kansas in 1995. But more than that the show was transformative for our theater prof.

Glenlivet, if I'm not mistaken. My prof had just finished his dissertation, defended and passed, and hadn't let down from the stress that went with that process. As the story goes, The Old Boy was a time for him to finally let go of one cumbersome life chapter and move on. In appreciation and honor, the cast got him a bottle of fine scotch whiskey. We all signed the box.

Last week I saw the empty box with signatures for the first time in over a decade. I had forgotten about it, and when I mentioned The Old Boy as my last show before now, our prof produced the box and retold the story. I was touched by his sentiment. After all this time, the box with our signatures sets above his desk at home as a reminder.

Jumpstart. Not only did I accomplish something great last week, but I reunited with a part of me that had been covered up. Much like my prof's bottle of Glenlivet which signified dissertation-related new beginnings, so my experience last week refreshes me and moves me forward. Symbolic yes, and also cathartic.

Denouement. Where before I was constantly consumed with stuff that I felt constrained my progress toward a Ph.D., now I feel that a majority of that stuff is not nearly as crucial as I imagined. I'm ready to practice patience in my writing, and not feel overwhelmed when I set aside the time. In short, I feel a preparedness for getting back to work.

And also I might start drinking Scotch.

*Seek a life useful!